The practice of gratitude

Grateful that I couldn’t initially think of anything to write today because I’ve just submitted two grants and a few short stories and my brain is tired.

• But how exciting to be tired because I’ve been given chances to be creative and write projects and stories that feel meaningful and useful. Those words felt like they needed to be written, even if they don’t get accepted or published.
• And it’s OK to not have all the words now. They’ll come back again.

Grateful to have just been looking outside onto a street in Kensington on an ordinary Saturday morning because I love this new normal. And ordinary is wonderful.

• A restaurant I love, run by a woman I adore and admire.
• The best pancakes and coffee!
• Warmth from the grey and rain outside, but then the grey suits London somehow – the way the tops of the buildings look against the sky. I’ve learned to always look up!

Grateful for being given the space to fall down when I needed to this year.

• Where I could be honest and vulnerable and broken-hearted. And where I could shake that grief off and open my eyes again when I was ready.
• My wise women, my amazing friends, across boroughs and oceans, continents and time zones, near and far. I am blessed.

Grateful the the universe brought a small tortoiseshell cat into my life. She is my heart.

• Admittedly, she is also one of my wise women. She’s the bravest of the two of us.

Grateful to feel more clear-eyed, my mind feels quieter, than I’ve ever known.

• I don’t know how I got everything done when things were noisier. This feeling is more peaceful. Not perfect – there are still dents and wonks and days where everything feels too uncertain – but it’s more peaceful underneath.

Grateful for messages that don’t always need a reply but just show someone was thinking of you.

• And I love sending those messages too.
• Given all the time zones and general need to sleep though, I think all of us are grateful for being able to turn our phones onto silent at night.

Grateful for warm socks and fuzzy blankets and hot water bottles with squirrels on them.

• Because I live in almost endless winter now.

Grateful that even though I’ve not posted on my blog for an age – and at times didn’t post because I didn’t like what I’d written enough – there is still time to shake those feelings off and start again.

• To remind myself that I’ve still been writing – for work and creatively – and sometimes I only have so many words.
• That I can recreate this blog into something new that might incorporate everything else.
• That there are still options – there is still time – nothing is set in stone.

Grateful for all the doors that still may open, and the ones I’ve walked through already.

For the people already in my life, and those I’m still yet to meet.

For all the small beauties that sneak into my everyday, every day.